Naughty N’awlins 2022

After returning home, we wanted to write a team blog post about our experiences.  Phoenix and I both wrote our own blogs first and then began to work to blend them.  We quickly realized we both have our own voices and opinion and chose to each publish our own, and point our readers to the other.  Please read Phoenix’s blog about our experiences on our Swinky Life website.

The Long-Awaited Return

It took 3 long years to get back to Naughty N’awlins. If you listen to the Accidental Swingers podcast, you know the stories. You know of our love for the event, the atmosphere, the memories, and the friends, acquaintances, and even random fuck buddies we have made. Naughty N’awlins will forever hold a special place in our hearts.

In 2021 we, as Swinky Life, were asked to present three workshops at Naughty N’awlins. We were prepared, almost completely packed, and ready to go. Then another Covid curveball and we knew that attending could put ourselves and our families at too much risk. We decided to withdraw from the event.

It was thrilling to be invited again to present in 2022, finally getting the opportunity to present our workshops at the event that started it all.

Naughty N’awlins 2022

This year at Naughty N’awlins would mark many milestones. It was the three-year anniversary of the four of us meeting each other and the beginning of our relationship. It was the first time we introduced a group this large to Swinky Life. It was the first year that Tristan and I attended as podcasters. And it was the first time we had Community members, listeners and fans join us at the event.

We arrived a few days early, to give us an opportunity to spend some time together. Our poly foursome (affectionately aka “the Square”), wanted time to enjoy the food, drink, and music New Orleans has to offer. We walked and ate and walked and drank and walked and ate and drank some more! Ducking into bars as we walked past to try their specialty cocktail (or a beer) before heading off again. We made our way down to Frenchman Street for a night of jazz at The Spotted Cat Music Club. The city of New Orleans never disappoints.

The Event Begins

Naughty N’awlins officially began on Wednesday, July 6th. The days were long, busy and full! We severely underestimated how much time we’d have for “work” vs. “fun”. Tristan and I had hopes of meeting some of our community members throughout the week. It quickly became apparent that open blocks of time were going to be few and far between. So we made the most of them when we found them! 

Wednesday was the day we’d earmarked for spending time with our Community and group members. We kicked it off with brunch that included 4 couples from our Community (including Julie and Matt of the American Poly podcast) with great food, great conversation, and great fun immediately underway! That afternoon we held a Meet & Greet with our Discord group members at the bar takeover at The Drinkery on Bourbon Street. It was absolutely amazing to meet everyone in person and to watch all of THEM meet each other and make connections they had been creating for the 6 weeks leading up to Naughty! (A wonderful couple even gave me a pair of socks with unicorns fucking all over them!)

We then treated our VIP members (those in the Discord group that are also in our paid community) to a private Meet & Greet. An open bar, snacks, and some goodies and giveaways were our way to say “thank you” for supporting us! The day ended with an amazing dinner, with amazing friends!

Thursday was our first official Swinky Life workshop “Why Don’t You Just Fuck: A Swingers Guide to Kink”. We had more attendees than chairs (always a good sign!). So much so that folks had to sit in the side lounge chairs. (This was the back half of one of the ballrooms that was used for dancing at night). We were thrilled with how well the class was received! How wonderfully everyone interacted, and how excited folks were to learn about the softer, sensual side of kink!

After even more delicious food with fantastic new friends, Tristan and I participated in the podcaster panel on Sex-Positive Podcasting. I had the honor of moderating the panel that included: John & Jackie Melfi of Open Love 101, Mr & Mrs Tango of Two or More to Tango, Lacy and Dan of The Swing Nation, Julie and Matt of American Poly, and Paige and Penn of Our Swinger Diaries. It was an amazing opportunity to have so many podcasters, all in different phases of their podcast journeys, in one place to hear their advice and expertise on podcasting and living your authentic life in a public forum. 

We met more listeners at the Podcaster Meet & Greet that evening before heading into the Burning Land-themed party. After which we made some burning land memories of our own! 😉 (And boy, were they HOT!!)

Friday was our busiest teaching day with two Swinky Life workshops. More Than Swinging: Building Loving, Lasting Relationships in the morning and Tie One On: A Swinky Guide to Beginner Bedroom Rope Play in the afternoon. This was the first time we presented Tie One On in a large group setting. We were standing room only, ran out of practice rope, and received wonderful feedback about the class. It is difficult to explain the joy and pride that I felt looking around that room full of smiling, intrigued, eager faces as they picked up their hanks of rope and began tying. The excitement the couples shared as they realized “hey, we CAN do this!” was magical! 

Invited to go to dinner with 3 other fantastic couples on Friday night, we decided to forego the Sexual Freedom Parade. Quickly becoming “the norm” with this group of new friends, we had a great time! So much love, so much boisterous laughter and just the general vibe of the group and the environment … New Orleans with a bunch of lifestyle friends is an experience not to be missed! 

Friday night led to another opportunity and experience – the Dungeon. A few in our dinner group wanted to experience some of what we talked about in our “beginner kink” class. A few of the ladies asked Phoenix to introduce them to the power and thrill of impact play in the dungeon. I had offered to tie up and flog one of the husbands in the group.

I don’t know for sure how much the husband enjoyed our experience (except for him telling me that he really enjoyed our time together and the more than slightly obvious excitement his dick was exhibiting as he stood naked, tied up, spread eagle, in front of me in a room full of people). But I fucking loved it. It was exhilarating and powerful, yet soft and sensual. Another first for me – tying someone up for an impact scene who I’ve never tied or flogged before. (To the wonderful man who let me tie you up, thank you for trusting me to experience that with you!)

By the time Saturday rolled around, working on about four hours of sleep every night, we were TIRED. Our final workshop, Swinky Life: Bridging the Gap Between Swingers and Kink, started at 10:30 in the morning. I’m not going to lie, I was sooooo hoping no one would show up so we could run and jump back in bed!! Alas, we ended up with 20+ folks in what turned out to be one of our most insightful workshops. Everyone asking questions and sharing their own experiences with all of us. It was an amazing class and a fantastic way to wrap up Swinky Life’s inaugural appearance at Naughty N’awlins!

A Time For Us

After the final workshop, with no other classes to teach, commitments to Naughty or to other friends, the four of us made a tough decision. Even though we weren’t leaving until Monday, we needed some downtime to be us, to be the Square, to be together. We Ubered over to the Garden District for yet another superb meal. Then quietly snuck back into the Astor to have a hot, sexy, play date of our own! 

Sunday, Tristan and I enjoyed the Sunday Jazz Brunch at Commander’s Palace with our friends (Phoenix and Crimson weren’t able to attend). Dining at Commander’s Palace is an experience in and of itself, and we highly recommend it! (We will definitely go back!) In the other two years we attended Naughty N’awlins, Tristan and I have made it our tradition to go to the Carousel Bar at the Hotel Monteleone. We sit quietly, in high-back leather chairs, surrounded by the sounds of the bar and watching tourists stroll past the windows, and enjoy outstanding cocktails (the Plantation Old Fashioned is a new favorite of the entire Square) while we talk about our week. This year was no different. However, this time, after our “Naughty Debrief” was complete, we asked Phoenix and Crimson to join us so that they could be a part of our experience. 

Last, but certainly not least, the four of us had set aside Sunday night as the night to celebrate our three-year polyversary. We officially met on July 25, 2019. But Naughty N’awlins, the event itself, will always be our anniversary so we decided to celebrate in the city that brought us together. We settled on GW Fins for what would end up being an incredibly memorable meal.

The food was fantastic but even better was the acceptance and genuine respect the staff showed us. The manager, when seating us, asked if we were celebrating anything. We said, “Yes, as a matter of fact, we are. We are celebrating the three-year anniversary of becoming a foursome.” It wasn’t weird, or awkward, or uncomfortable to share this information with a total stranger; it was normal, natural, and authentic. The manager returned, and to our surprise, sprinkled celebratory confetti all over our table.

After the meal was over, our server (who had also been incredibly non-judgemental and happy for our celebration) brought two plates to our table. Each with a lit birthday candle, two chocolate truffles drizzled with strawberry sauce and chocolate, and “Happy Anniversary” written on the plates in chocolate. The absolute perfect ending to a perfect meal and a CRAZY-ass week.

Lessons Learned

Naughty N’awlins 2022 taught us a lot of lessons. We grossly underestimated the amount of time we would have to have sexy, fun playtime. Or the number of people who would recognize us, who “knew” us, and whose lives we’d been accepted into by virtue of the Accidental Swingers podcast. We didn’t think about the fact that people would stop us to talk to us about the podcast, or Swinky Life, every time we walked through the hotel lobby! (And sometimes even out on the streets of the French Quarter! Or in the Ladies Room at the Bourbon House restaurant!)

However, we made a ton of new friends and wonderful memories. It was humbling and we value and are grateful for every interaction, every conversation, and every meeting we had. While we underestimated some things, the event, our workshops and the new friendships we made far exceeded our expectations. Thank you Naughty N’awlins and NOLA … you never disappoint! See you all again in 2023!