Episode 3: The Nuts and Bolts of Swinging

nuts and bolts

Since our introduction into swinging wasn’t planned, when we accidentally entered the lifestyle we knew nothing about the basics of swinging.  We weren’t familiar with some of the common terms that swingers and lifestylers use and we had no idea how the swinger social websites worked.

We also did not know how to find other swingers and resources for swingers in our area. In this episode we cover:

  • review some basic terms commonly used by swingers 
  • discuss how to set up your swinger profile and what we view as the most important DO’s and DON’Ts when creating your profiles. (download our free 10 TIPS & TRICKS TO CREATE A BETTER PROFILE)
  • explain how and where to locate other swingers in your area
  • talk about other swinger resources 

“The main thing to takeaway from all that is – just do it. If you think that you’re interested – just do it.”

~ Myrina, Episode 3, 54:20


What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode?

Please let us know in the comments section below!


PART 1 – Common Swinger Terms [7:31]

  • Lifestyle [8:22]
  • Full Swap vs. Soft Swap [10:28]
  • Same Room Play, Separate Room Play [12:14]
  • “… the accidental soft swap … ” [14:29 – 15:28]
  • Hall Pass [15:31]
  • Unicorn [16:29]
  • Vanilla [17:32]
  • Playing/Playdate [17:54]
  • Meet & Greet [18:02]

PART 2 – Swinger Websites & Creating Your Profile [19:54]

  • We begin to discuss swinger websites [22:17]
  • Create free accounts on a few different sites to see which sites are more active in your area and for your targeted age group or audience [24:30]
  • Meet & greets on SDC [27:40]
  • The minute that you join the website on SLS, that date shows up as your “start” date on your profile; if you go back and change your name you lose your data and who has contacted you, etc. [29:37]
  • Go through different sites and see what other people use for screen names [30:50]
  • Creating a good screen name [30:32]
  • Read other profiles to see what you like [34:22]
  • When you write your profile, you are advertising yourself for other like-minded people to want to at least meet you [34:50]
  • Don’t be negative in your profile [37:41]
  • Profile photos [43:00]
  • “I have learned, as an older woman in the lifestyle, that confidence is sexy as fuck.” [44:00]
  • Go back and revise your profile [51:30]
  • “Two years ago we thought we were never going to do XYZ, and now that’s not off the table …” [51:37]
  • Include an “updated” date for your photos and profile [52:00]
  • “… if you’re not sure if you’re going to full swap, soft swap, or just be voyeurs and just watch … “[52:35]
  • “That’s all part of being sex-positive and open. It is an amazing community of people.” [53:00]
  • “If you just think you want to dabble and dip your toe in the pool – do it!” [53:18]
  • Proofread your profile [54:35]
  • Local resources and ways to meet other swingers [55:43]
  • “Our community and play style and our interests and ourselves continue to evolve. It’s all changing.” [57:35]
  • The next time you go on vacation or traveling start looking for events that will be taking place where you’re going [1:00:10]


Note from the Editor: Additional resources will be added soon

9 thoughts on “Episode 3: The Nuts and Bolts of Swinging

  1. Michael and Stephanie says:

    We discovered your podcast and really enjoyed the first three episodes. We are really hoping to hear more.

    Thank you

    • Myrina says:

      Thanks! We’re so glad you enjoyed it! Episode 4 is in the works! (If you subscribe to the podcast through your favorite podcast platform, you’ll be notified when the new episodes are released; or follow us on Instagram, we’ll announce it there as well!)

    • Myrina says:

      Hi! Thanks for commenting. I’m not really sure if you’re asking what “screen names” are in general or what are OUR screen names? So, screen names on any lifestyle website is the name you use as your profile name; most people make up a screen name that doesn’t include their real names. We always encourage easy screen names that you can tell someone in a crowded bar that they can remember! As for us personally?? We don’t have a profile for the podcast on the lifestyle sites and we don’t give out our personal screen names as we keep the podcast and our play life “separate” in that way. Thanks for asking though! 😉

  2. Sandra says:

    Enjoying your podcast…
    We are a couple from Malaysia and trying to improve our profile. I’ve put my details to subscribe and to download but the site is saying, file not found…
    We appreciate it if you could send it over to the email attached here..

    Happy Swinging & Stay Safe,

  3. KeithC185 says:

    This is a great episode. I think the best thing I learned was that confidence is sexy and that most people are not judgmental about your looks but are more concerned with your personality.

    • R & K says:

      My wife and I have just started listening to your podcast. We have soft swapped with the same couple for many years but we are wanting to go further into the lifestyle. Thanks for a wonderful podcast. Can’t wait to listen to more episodes.

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